Confucius

Man who runs in front of car gets tired.

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Man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

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Man with one chopstick goes hungry.

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Man who scratches bum should not bite fingernails.

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Man who eats many prunes gets good run for money.

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War does not determine who is right, war determines who is left.

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Man who drives like hell, bounds to get there.

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Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

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Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

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Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

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Crowded elevator smells different to midget.

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